XU Zhao, Art Project Week 5, Self-Portrait

The inspiration of my self-portrait came from my culture and race identity. I am one hundred percents Chinese with no race mixture, but when I first came to USA during my junior year in high school, I had similar feelings as my Asian American friends did. Our world has become two cultures co-existed. At age of 16, I made my own decision to come US, all of my family members were not in favor of it and worried that I was not mature and capable enough. But I still preserved my own decision. When I came to USA, I noticed that even if I overcome the language barrier, I still can't integrate into the white kid's group. We can hang out and play together, but I understood it's not real friendship. I felt isolated and lonely at that time, and even doubted my decision. 

After that, I decided to make friends with Asian Americans, although they are mentally similar as those white kid, but I didn't feel much different when I integrate into their world. Moreover, I found out they had same problem as I did-. They also find difficulties to blend into white people's group, even they speak fluent English and understand their jokes. I felt the senses of belonging and presences with them. I even found my first girl friend in US during that time!

 Designing this self-portrait reminds me the times that I first came to United State as a Chinese student, it was memorable and beatific. The experience of overcome the difficulties make me believe that the culture differences matters, but our common humanity matters more. 

I made the self-portrait by using PhotoShop with cartoon layers in term of my true photos. The color of my skin, hair and eyes indicate my belongings to China, and my dressing and hair style ( American  Style) represent I am ready to face the opportunities and challenge in the new environment. The original photo is the group photo between my first girl friend and myself, she is an Asian American girl that helped me to overcome the language difficulties and culture difference during my junior year in high school. Even It has been 6 years passed, but I still appreciate her help in my most difficult time. 

Original picture